i'm pregnant.
that's what the 5 drug store tests told me.
that's what the doctor told me after i wasn't convinced the 5 times before.
and that's what my ravenous appetite keeps telling me still (what? getting up at 2 in the morning to have a bowl of cheese and bacon-filled perogies isn't normal?).
i'm coming up 20 weeks now (which makes me half baked) and i still feel like i'm in denial. maybe that's why it took us so long to tell people. that and i'm strongly opposed to "over sharing" personal information on the internet (coming from the girl who sent photos of her bare, easter-egg painted butt one april to everyone in her contact list with the words "HAPPY KEESTER!" at the top of the document).
(my parents still don't think it's funny.)
but really, i am in shock. first of all, i didn't know i could get pregnant (delivery by stork seemed legitimate) and secondly, i have a pretty pathetic baby bump right now (think: a night at taco bell meets thanksgiving dinner). i haven't felt sick or any different except now all i crave is indian food...yet i can't be in the same room as my indian coworker since her smell makes me want to vomit? (how's that for irony?)
(ps: i'm not a racist.)
i also am kind of afraid of my unborn child. we went in for an ultrasound last week to find out what we're having (which turned out to be a big fail) and when the technician turned to show us the baby's face on the monitor, ben and i both gasped in horror. (you would too if what you saw looked exactly like voldermort at the end of the 7th movie...all coiled up under the train station bench...bleh.) and just a few days later i felt that thing move for the first time and i couldn't help but think that i needed a young priest and an old priest to perform an exorcism!
sigourney weaver gets it. (see: alien trilogy)
this world of baby preparation is so foreign to me...and the more i research and try to figure it all out the more i've realized two things:
1. i'm in way over my head
2. the baby market is a SCAM!
seriously though...baby stuff is so stinkin' expensive! i follow the occasional mommy blog and have always wondered how some mothers out there can justify dressing their infants in $70 onesies that they're going to grow out of in less than a year. and diaper bags! who knew the more trendier ones went for around $150?! and don't get me started on cloth diapers...the other day i went to an organic baby store down the road from my house and a lady with dread locks wearing a hemp shirt tried to convince me that i needed to spend at least $700 for a decent cloth diaper kit.
what did i tell you? SCAM!
...and then i start thinking about the future: the travel plans we had, the better apartment we had hoped for, and the glorious idea of being completely debt-free.
all put on hold.
but then, little packages arrive at my front door with little booties inside of them (that AREN'T for the cat) and i can't help but feel lucky, and privileged.
...and then i have to go eat a whole container of TUMS.
7 comments:
Ah sara that is soo exciting! Ok I sorta of think i have a 6th sense for pregnancy because i just knew you were baking a baby in there! (It could of had something to do with your bump it up pin board suddenly blowing up?) haha but none the less, congrats to you and ben. I was scared of my baby too and now he is the best thing to ever happen to me! You will love it!
Repeat after me: babies are not expensive!
you can have a whole carload for free!! and they are so much fun!! can't wait
Don't worry I was terrified of being a mother and now I can't imagine life without my little terrorist! I'm so excited for you guys!
hahaha seriously sara, seriously.
outta control humor. i cant get enough
Sara, your blog came as such wonderful news. My office burned to the ground last night and I was beginning to feel like what the hell else can go wrong. Now I have something to be happy about. Congrats to you and Ben. I know about the smell thing, I still have an issue with raw meat at the grocery store, still makes me want to vomit, but I get past it and enjoy my steak. As for the alien thing, I totally get it. I was so sick through my whole pregnancy with Olivia, I thought for sure that she couldn't possibly come out normal as my diet consisted of rice and peas as thats all I could keep down without a gall bladder attack and shots of demerol in my ass. She is beautiful,funny and 20 years old and taking on the world. I was sick with Thomas as well and he was a little hellian with big brown eyes that in the next few years are going to have heartbroken girls swoon at his feet as he bats his long eyelashes and big brown eyes at them. You will do a great job as a mom. I would love to have a mom like you. You will be so much fun. If your mom can do it so can you. Love and hugs to you. Your other mudder.
congrats!!
p.s. you don't have to be pregnant (or racist) to crave indian food and love the smell of it before you eat it but not on people.
Sara;
Gosh you make me pee my pants laughing (not hard for someone who is 30 weeks pregnant and is carrying giganto-baby). Thank you for sharing though!
Regarding cloth diapers: try happy nappy. Its a cloth diaper service that your friends and family can put money towards. Its environmentally friendly, about $24 a week, and you don't have to worry about buying different sizes, styles, etc. They deliver clean diapers, and pick up dirty ones once a week. The best part is you don't gotta wash them!!
I totally agree with you the baby market is a total scam, so stinking expensive! We went shopping for a crib last weekend...do you know how hard it is to find a crib that isn't 6 feet long?? Redic... Let me know if you find a diaper bag that isn't the same price as a designer handbag, as I'm still looking!
Allison
P.S. This is all VERY apropos to "Alien". I'm convinced I'm going to give birth straight out of my bellybutton
Post a Comment