before pregnancy, i had pretty normal skin. i got the occasional break out here and there, but nothing too serious (ok, that's a lie: i'd freak out over one measly zit). fast forward to 6 months ago, all of that went out the window. every morning i wake up and there's a new cyst growing on my face...in crevices i didn't even know existed! right when i think my skin has cleared up BAM! zit on the bottom of my chin, or in my ear, or on the back of my NECK. i once went out for an hour, ONE HOUR, and came back with a triad of pimples on my hairline. it's gotten to the point where i wake up, look in the mirror, sob for 5 minutes, then carefully wipe my tears away with a sterilized cloth so i don't infect my face even more.
2. i don't let the little things slide anymore.
-guys who wear "TAP OUT" shirts
-restaurants being out of my favorite foods/drinks (read: why i should never be left alone on halloween night EVER again)
-flagrant spelling errors on facebook/twitter/blogs, etc.
-and flyers in my mailbox
3. everyone, EVERYONE, has an opinion.
a couple months ago, i ate a deli ham sandwich in front of a few of my coworkers (who are also pregnant). i sort of forgot that deli meat was on the no-no list (unless cooked for a few minutes) but before i knew what was happening i was getting a lecture on how irresponsible i was being...and that i was harming my unborn child!
for the record, i have given up caffeine completely. i haven't smoked any cigarettes, marijuana, or even those candy pop-eye sticks. i haven't had one drop of alcohol, and i'm taking the appropriate prenatal vitamins...and some. and i eat. A LOT, which i think is the most important thing you can do for your baby. if eating the wrong kind of sandwich ONCE is the worst thing i've done, then i think i'm ahead of this game compared to a lot of other expectant mothers out there.
4. only i'm allowed to say my face has gotten fat!
seriously though- the last thing you want to hear when you're pregnant is "your face has kind of filled out, eh." of course it has...i'm eating for two (but really three or four because i have no self control). self esteem during pregnancy is pretty much nonexistent, and even if you are secretly thinking and smiling over how fat i look and it's the elephant in the room, keep it to yourself. and when i comment on how fat my face is now, you kindly respond, "what? you cray-cray girfraaaan! no it isn't...you look great!"
with those words exactly...thems are the rules.
5. i've become a food critic.
since every day is pretty much a buffet for me as of late, i have become somewhat of a food snob. we'll go to a restaurant and i'll either absolutely LOVE what i ordered or LOATHE it entirely, and most of the time i'm hard to please. the tomato soup at earl's? too bland. the revamped menu at milestone's? boooring.
if it 'aint greasy, creamy, and over 1000 calories then i want nothing to do with it.
6. wearing sweat pants two days in a row outside of the house is completely acceptable.
...and you if say otherwise you're in the dog house for the night (just ask ben).
the end.
9 comments:
Dear Sara;
You are such a wizened sage! I appreciate all of your witty words, and may I just add a few words of advice to those around us pregnant people...
- not only is it not nice to lecture us on eating deli meat, but also mean to tell us not to eat baked brie at our own stinking baby shower. NOT cool. All cheese that enters Canada has to be pasteurized, so stuff it. Sara you're right, at least I'm eating for my baby, and I'm not shoving heroin into my veins or whatever.
- you should never, ever, tell a woman they look like a "Hereford Heifer bred to a Brahma Bull".....yes, this actually happened. As much as I'm sure that was just concern being expressed, don't tell me how large I am. And don't do it by comparing me to a BOVINE!!!
- Don't tell a woman who is 39 weeks pregnant who just got good news from the doctor that he suspects the baby will be here imminently that "oh that's what my doctor said and my baby was ___ weeks late". You WILL get your face punched in. (Thank you lady at the checkout today). And Sara, may all of your babies come earlier than 39 weeks, that is my most sincere wish for you!!
P.S. Your face is NOT fat. You look freaking fantastic, darn you!
see allison you're already following the rules and telling me my face is still as slender and defined as ever! you da best! and hang in there friend! the end is near!
I love all of these... I have to agree with all of them... Except your face getting fat- you look great. My feet were literally the size of two small adult dogs. It was gross. Anyway you look great, and you think everyone has an opinion now... Just wait until the little bean comes out. People come out of the wood work to offer you their parenting advice, people I've never spoken to in my life have no problem tellling me how I should put my kid to sleep or that soothers are unnatural or (the newest one) my one year should be potty trained by now. Thank goodness hormones start evening out by then! Can't wait until you have your bebe he/or she will be a very cute baby!! Good luck with everything!!
I love reading about your pregnancy...cause it is all hilarious anyways might as well talk about how awful it is. I remember someone telling me my face was filling out (idiot) and crying right in front of them...and then for the remainder of the day. I remember crying EVERY morning when I looked in the mirror, too. But if I ever see skinny pregnant people like you I always think, "they probably don't do any of that" cause guess what - you're face is NOT FAT! And I definitely didn't look that good in sweat pants.
The good news is - pregnancy ends...and babies are the best!
Uh oh, I made a spelling error.
YOUR FACE*****
sara, you're awesome. and i promise you, you're GORGEOUS. beautiful! i love the preggo look on you!
keep smiling and making us laugh. it's so awesome.
xo
haha oh my gosh these are perfect and I love it. I need to make a similar list about my pregnancy- although I think you covered it all. Everyone has an opinion is the biggest though- man I want a sandwich with deli meat on it now!
hahaha i love it! you're awesome.
I'm on baby #3-- I eat Brie, Deli Meats, have the occasional dose of caffeine (I was convinced that when I was pregnant with Sophie, I was going to give birth to a 7-11 taquito, swimming in Dr. Pepper for amnionic fluid!), and have had to go on Rx meds at one point or another during my first trimester-- EVERY TIME!!
Result? Chubby, healthy, HAPPY babies!!!
You're the boss of your own bod. Again, as the others have stated, it's not like you're doping or drinking.
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